


Lost in the Feeling

by runicmagitek



Category: Final Fantasy XII
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Cultural Differences, F/F, Hopeful Ending, Mid-Canon, One-Sided Attraction, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 20:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7815148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runicmagitek/pseuds/runicmagitek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penelo takes it upon herself to ask Fran a question and together they realize the one question can mean something different to a Hume and a Viera.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost in the Feeling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silveradept](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveradept/gifts).



The Port of Balfonheim welcomed Fran as much as Eruyt Village had. She was a sky pirate, no different from those visiting the port, but her acceptance was tenuous. So long as Balthier stood beside her, no one questioned the Viera’s presence. Otherwise, Fran swore those stares deepened like knives sinking into flesh. But just stares and nothing more. Perhaps the Humes were smart enough to hold their tongues. One was apt to receive a heel in their face deeper than their glares if they dared to speak ill.

But she wasn’t with Balthier. Not now. The group split up to accomplish the various tasks divided amongst them. While Fran favored her partner-in-crime, Vaan took an interest in aiding Balthier. In turn, the sky pirate reluctantly played along, never bothering to hide the roll of his eyes and exaggerated groans. The sight brought a quirk to Fran’s lips, just as the previous mention of Vaan being a potential apprentice did. Balthier protested then, too, but perhaps now he would come to see it wasn’t a bad idea after all.

Besides, _her_ partner proved to be as interesting, if not more so, than Vaan.

Penelo might have still been a child, but her eyes held a maturity found in those more seasoned with life’s trials, matched only by her constant composure throughout their travels. And yet her heart maintained optimism worthy of a young spirit. Fran witnessed far too many folk whose hearts froze in response to the cruelty of life; she could only hope such a fate never fell upon Penelo.

Together, they teamed up in search for quality potions. Penelo held a basket while they perused the markets, accompanied by an occasional skip in her steps and a gentle hum about her lips. Fran twitched her ears to better hear the melody, the tune not far off from a bar song she once heard in a hole-in-the-wall establishment with Balthier years ago.

Other than that, Penelo opted for silence. Fran raised an eyebrow to her each time they added another potion to the basket. A far-off expression resided in Penelo’s eyes, only to flutter upon noticing Fran caught her off-guard. As thankful as Fran was for the lack of nonsensical babble that typically came with Vaan, this quiet side of Penelo was new, yet unsettling territory.

Instead of advancing to the next market stand, Fran faced Penelo straight on. “Silence doesn’t suit you,” she said.

To that, Penelo snapped her gaze up to meet Fran’s. “Hmmm? What do you mean?”

“Did you forget to talk?”

Penelo shook her head. “Oh, no! Nothing like that. Sorry, I didn’t realize I was being so quiet. I... was thinking.”

“Thinking?”

“Mmm, right.”

“What of?”

Penelo parted her lips, yet not a word left her. Fran furrowed her brow over the other’s hesitation to bring life to her thoughts. Did something trouble her so that speaking of it made her borderline ill? 

Though the shake of her head was quick and certain. “Nothing, really.”

Fran blinked. How could she be thinking of nothing? Clearly, something grabbed her attention, yet Penelo refused to speak of it. Or perhaps prying wasn’t the answer, thus Fran nodded and continued walking down the street. Penelo trailed behind, her antics persisting, albeit with half-hearted enthusiasm.

“I-I have a question,” Penelo blurted out after several stops at merchant stands. Her eyes barely hold onto Fran’s tense gaze.

Catching sight of the girl from the corner of her eyes, Fran met Penelo with a tense gaze. Even when she turned her attention away from the merchant’s wares, weight shifted to one leg and arms crossed, Penelo struggled to maintain proper eye contact.

“Um... I was wondering,” Penelo began, shuffling her feet. “How would you... well, if you, for example, really _liked_ someone and you... wanted them to know... what would you do?”

It was a blessing that Penelo held the basket of potions and not Fran, or else she might have loosened her grip from the sheer audacity of the question and thus lose their acquired collection of bottled goods. 

“... _What_?”

A splash of blush colored Penelo’s fair cheeks. “It’s completely hypothetical, of course.”  
“And why _me_?”

Penelo shrugged. “I don’t know. Just... curious?”

Curious at a time like this. Fran bit back her tongue from scoffing. “Don’t you have bigger matters to think of than that?”

And those blue eyes of hers widened in a way Fran had never witnessed before. “I... yeah, I guess you’re right. Still, not everyone is as strong as you are, Fran. Some people like to think of other things instead of their problems.”

“That would only further complicate matters.”

“Maybe, but if it gives people peace of mind, then what harm comes from it?”

Fran dropped her gaze as that concept rolled about in her mind. “So,” Fran replied slowly, still piecing together her own consensus, “ _this_ is what helps you overcome hardships?”

“If you want to think of it like that, then sure.”

“What _I_ do in my personal time?”

“I’m only asking you because you’re right here. If I was with any of the others, I’d probably be asking the same thing.”

The mental image of Penelo proposing the same question to Basch brought a tiny smirk to her lips. At least Penelo had a sliver of tact, unlike a _certain_ someone who was keen on inquiring for her age.

“Did no one ever tell you of such things?” Fran pivoted away and continued down the street.

Penelo was close on her heels, hugging the basket into her chest. “Pff, not really. Too busy trying to stay alive than figuring out the nuances of life.”

“And what ever happened to these _distractions_ you speak of?”

“I wasn’t _always_ running around with my head in the clouds. Trying to keep a war from happening tends to pull a lot of things out of you that you didn’t realize until perhaps it’s too late.” Her steps slowed a touch and her voice softened. “But... I don’t want it to be too late. I like to think there’s still time, but regardless, I wouldn’t want to mess this up.”

“From the sounds of it, I wonder if this is not of what I would do, but of what you should do.”

“...You really think that?”

“What I think shouldn’t matter, for this life is yours, not mine. Perhaps you can come to your own conclusion.”

But Penelo strayed from Fran’s side and Fran turned to inspect the state of her companion. Penelo dropped her face with her lips pulled down even further.

“Maybe you’re right,” Penelo said. “It’s just a stupid thing to worry about. I should be more focused on what we need to be doing instead daydreaming, right?”

The sadness soaked in her voice chilled Fran. Instead of marching forward, Fran closed the distance between herself and Penelo. A tender hand fell upon Penelo’s shoulder, the gesture enough to return Penelo’s eyes to her own.

“Come along.” Fran drifted her hand to Penelo’s upper back to guide her. “It would be best if we took a break for now.”

“But... wouldn’t the others be waiting?”

“Then let them wait.”

Away from the marketplace, Fran retraced her steps to a local restaurant out by the docks. Seafood and salt marked the skies while the roll of waves and distant chatter filled their ears. The establishment was open and free from the rush of people bound its way within the hour. A massive canopy provided shade for the plethora of seats, all with a spectacular ocean-side view. The hostess remembered Fran with a partial smile and offered an open table for the two. At least the woman was smart to not place them anywhere near her typical seat with Balthier; instead, Fran and Penelo sat several yards from the Naldoan Sea itself.

Once settled in with an order of food and drinks on the way, Fran sunk into her seat, legs crossed, and eyes set to the horizon.

“The trouble is,” Fran started, “that I don’t believe I’ve ever had to express my interest in someone. Attention typically came my way and not reversed.”

Penelo propped her elbows up on the table, chin resting in her palms. “So... do you not _like_ anyone?”

“It seems that way, does it not?” Fran gently laughed at herself. “Words can get in the way of what the heart truly desires. That was how I’ve always known it to be. One day you will find someone and it will ring true to you.”

After a pause, Penelo chimed in. “But what does that mean?”

“You feel it, no? No different from smelling the Mist or listening to the surroundings.”

Silence met Fran along with a perplexed expression.

“This sounds like a Viera thing,” Penelo said.

Fran tilted her head. “And that means...?”

“So you just... _know_ when you’re supposed to be with someone? You’ve never just flat out liked another person because, I don’t know, they’re pretty or something?”

“...Why would I do that?”

Penelo heaved out a sigh and slumped further into the table. “You make it sound like everything is planned out and destined to be. Is there no room for fun?”

“What kind of fun?”

“You know.” Penelo shrugged. “Hanging out and doing things together.”

“...Aren’t we doing that now?”

A warm hue colored Penelo’s cheeks and her back stiffened. “W-what?! No no!” She flailed her hands and shook her head. “This is _completely_ different. We’re just doing chores, in a sense, and taking a break right now... right?”

Fran averted her gaze. “If you say so.”

Their server swooped back in to deliver drinks with a charming smile and tongue, unaware of the awkward silence. Even then, neither touched their drink.

Penelo heaved out a frustrated sigh. “The only type of courtship I know of exists in silly books about epic legends of knights saving princesses. All heroic and manly-like... and kind of a far cry from reality.”

“Do Humes not write tales based off of reality?”

“Why do that when you can orchestrate your own fantasy to escape reality?”

That... sounded unnecessary. All the stories Fran grew up with were of those who came before her and their great feats. They inspired the little ones, her included. What could a fabricated hero do to inspire others?

“These tales you speak of,” Fran drew out. “Do you enjoy them?”

“I guess? Sure? They’re fun, but they’re still not real. I can’t exactly make an impression on someone by diving in to save them from great peril.”

“Why not?”

“It... well, seems a bit unrealistic?”

Fran twitched her nose in response. Her mind returned to the days when she was still new to the Hume lands and subjected to more than stares. Someone had saved her then, but Balthier always had a penchant for the dramatics. Then again, it was the first time her heart resonated with what she longed for the most—freedom.

“So,” Penelo interrupted her thoughts. “This... knowing without words thing. It’s a Viera thing, right? What’s it like?”

How could Fran even begin to explain the sensation? It was no different than explaining how one breathed—one just _did_. But her eyes laid upon another Hume and not a Viera. Perhaps it was yet another difference separating them. Despite spending most of her recent time with him, Balthier still remained several leagues away from typical Humes, yet his tendencies were what rang true to her. Then again, two souls yearning for freedom were bound to get along, regardless of race. 

But the question remained and Penelo gazed upon her with wide eyes eager for more. Fran closed hers and focused on finding the right words to explain the elusive sensation she was born with. 

Her ears no longer heard the Wood which marked as her home and even the skies she traveled through stood silent to her. The memories, though, of the ways of the Viera burned through her despite the years spent trying to escape it.

“When one embraces another,” Fran spoke soft enough for the waves to carry her voice away, “either by arms or by emotions, it lingers.” She tapped at her chest. “Right here. You never want to leave it, never want to know anything else but that.” When her eyes opened, she found Penelo enraptured by her words. “That is what it feels like. It is how Viera find others no different from them, whether a good friend or a mate.”

Penelo said nothing initially, but then wonder swept over her face and parted her lips. “Wow! That’s... _amazing_! How romantic.”

Fran tried not to flinch. “ _Romantic_?”

“It’s like knowing where your soulmate is! It’s beautiful!”

She heard that word once amongst the Humes. The idea was silly to Fran—how could Humes stick to _one_ person, _one_ partner to share life with through the entirety of their existence? 

“It’s not supposed to be,” Fran corrected her. “It’s more of a way to sense where one belongs, or with who. Not with soulmates.”

Penelo’s smile faltered. “Have you never found someone else with it before?”

“Someone? No.” She paused and traced a finger along the rim of her glass. “Something? Enough times, yes.”

“Something? But... that doesn’t make sense.”

“Does it?” Fran breathed out a scoff. “It’s not always about people. A place or a concept can be enough. I never longed for a counterpart.”

“Then what was it?”

Her eyes shifted to the blue skies she came to love and a tiny smile formed on her lips. “Freedom. When I realized I would never find it in the Wood, I looked elsewhere. In time, I found it.”

“I envy you.”

Fran dropped her gaze with bewilderment upon her features, only to find an air of benevolence around Penelo. She couldn’t recall the last time anyone had looked upon her in such a manner.

“All you have to do is wait for this _feeling_ to know if it’s good.” She chuckled. “I wish it was that easy for me.”

“It’s not as glamorous as you make it out to be.”

“But still! To just know if you belong somewhere or with someone.... That skips so many hard steps along the way.”

“Such as?”

“This whole confrontation part I can’t get around. What if I get rejected? What if I say something wrong? What if—”

“Why are you so afraid, Penelo? Fearlessness runs through your veins. Plenty of Humes twice your age possess half of your maturity.”

Penelo paused and fluttered her eyes. “Y-you think so?”

“I wouldn’t have bothered wasting my time with you here—” She gestured to the restaurant. “—if I thought otherwise.”

To that, Penelo sighed, her shoulders dropping several inches. “You make it sound so easy. Then again, you’re a sky pirate! You and Balthier. Things like this are probably the last of your concern.” She shook her head. “I don’t know why I bothered asking.”

A thought blipped into Fran’s mind: _What would Balthier do?_ If this was paining Penelo to the point that she sought Fran out for help, then there had to be something she could do. But the divide between Humes and Viera was tangible as they sat across from one another. Her mind focused on the one Hume she knew best and hoped the experiences translated well.

“From what I’ve experienced with Humes,” Fran said, “it’s best to be upfront, though not always by way of words. Actions are enough, so long as they are bold and honest.” When Penelo didn’t answer, Fran expanded further. “Something dynamic, yes? Exciting. Almost like flying.”

“So... what does this have to do with telling someone you like them?”

“It’s not about telling them you like them.”

“So _not_ upfront?”

_Why do Humes always overthink things?_ “Be fearless. Let your actions speak for themselves.”

“But what if I’ve been around them for some time and nothing has happened?”

She shrugged. “Try harder. Just when you think there are enough layers to the action, there are still a few more waiting to be discovered.”

That’s what Balthier would have done. Always making a scene, his every entrance a theatrical event. Plenty of folk swooned for his antics while Fran chuckled and shook her head. They did little to impress her to the point of fawning over him, but clearly it had an effect on others. A far cry from the epic romances Penelo spoke of, but perhaps different tactics worked for different Humes. 

Yet Penelo continued to stare in disbelief. “So... all I need to do is be over the top until they notice me?”

Did it _really_ sound like that? Maybe Fran wasn’t cut out to explain any of this after all. With a sigh, Fran leaned into the table and caught Penelo’s eyes with her own.

“Be yourself,” Fran told her. “The Penelo I know hasn’t been afraid up until now. Why must this be different? Would you rather be nervous from the act itself or nervous from never having taken the chance to do so?”

A million words swam in Penelo’s eyes, all of which Fran feared she couldn’t answer in a lifetime, never mind during their break. If only she had been in more touch with Humes. And yet she had simultaneously fallen out of touch with the Viera she also claimed to identify as.

Before either of them could expand upon their thoughts, their waitress swooped back in to deliver their meals. Whatever conversation Penelo and Fran were about to have dissolved as the two munched away in silence, save for Penelo’s delighted hums over tasting new types of seafood. As for Fran, she looked back out to the sea, chewing slowly, thoughtfully.

“Thank you,” Penelo said at one point.

With her mouth full, Fran could only cock her head and raise an eyebrow.

“For this.” Penelo gestured to the food. “For letting me tag along with you.” And she paused. “For... talking to me.”

Fran swallowed and licked her lips clean. “It sounds as if I wouldn’t have done so otherwise.”

“No, it’s not that. I... wanted to express my thanks. That’s all. I appreciate it.”

Unsure of what else to add, Fran nodded. “It was my pleasure, then.”

With their stomachs full and their break over, the two returned to the marketplace for last-minute additions to the potion stockpile. This time, Penelo jumped in alongside Fran to help with bartering. The lively bounce returned to Penelo’s steps as she matched Fran’s pace. The sight of it all left Fran biting back a smile.

The two headed to the rendezvous point. In the distance, Fran spotted Balthier dragging behind Vaan. Had the boy truly tired him out? She chuckled at the thought. He might have been reluctant about Vaan becoming his apprentice, but perhaps it would do him more good than harm.

It was amidst her thoughts, though, when it happened. A soft hand fell upon her arm, bringing Fran to a skidding halt. Even then, her body bumped into another and the warmth radiated through her. By the time Fran focused on what was before her, Penelo stood on her tiptoes to press her lips into Fran’s cheek.

Fran held her breath and widened her eyes. As for Penelo, her lips tugged upward, accompanied by a hint of blush.

“Thanks again,” Penelo said.

“And what,” Fran demanded, outright ignoring her gratitude, “was that?”

But Penelo lowered herself back onto her heels and stepped away. “Being bold and honest.”

And then she pivoted away to rush off to the others, flailing a free arm to catch Vaan’s attention. Fran froze in place and watched the young girl blossom before her eyes.

Perhaps Penelo had the grit and wits to be on par with a sky pirate, after all.

Fran caught up with a casual stride. All members were accounted for along with bearing successful results from their appointed tasks. Though once Balthier eyed Fran, he perked up and joined her side.

“And here I thought I’d never be a babysitter,” Balthier groaned through his teeth.

His words made her chuckle. “It suits you.”

“Oh, don’t _you_ start instigating anything.” But then a sly grin appeared upon his lips and his eyes glittered like the many gems they sought out for. “Though if I could take a guess, I’d say that it also suited _you_.” His eyes flicked over to Penelo before returning to Fran. “Enjoy each other’s company?”

“If you wish to call it that.”

“ _Oh_? And what would _you_ call it?”

Fran shrugged. “Two ladies having a heart to heart. Isn’t that what you Humes call it?”

He flashed his teeth in that grin. “If that’s what _you_ wish to call it.”

“ _She_ had a question and I provided an answer.”

“To what?”

As the others began to head off, Fran let her eyes settled upon Penelo, who spun around to beckon to both her and Balthier. “About how to confront the one you care for.”

Balthier didn’t immediately jump in with his usual retort; Fran took it as a good sign. The hum vibrating upon his lips left her ears twitching. The smile never faded.

“Sounds like she figured it out,” he offered before following the group.

Fran’s eyes flicked as she tried to make sense of Balthier’s words. Thinking back on it now, it confused her even further as to why Penelo asked her, considering the end results. But Humes worked in strange ways and even years upon years living amongst them wasn’t going to fully submerge Fran. All she could do was observe and take away whatever she best liked.

But even amongst Humes, she retained her own Viera tendencies.

_Maybe one day,_ Fran kept to herself while catching up, _when this is all over and there_ _’s nothing else to worry about and you learn to be sure of yourself..._. Fran settled her eyes upon Penelo and absorbed the laughter and joy emitting from the girl, despite the impending chaos looming over them. The sight warmed her heart. _Maybe then I can return the favor to you._


End file.
